His client had money to put towards a trip to Rome, allowing for a more memorable experience than most have had when playing tourist in this city..
His amazement had risen as he walked into the Accademia to be seated at the base of the statue of David, where, amazingly, his private catered dinner was to be held. Andrea Bocelli had started to serenade their private dinner to accomplish something very few are capable of; a private dinner in a prestigious museum with a famous musician after just 2 days notice.
The genius behind this impossible itinerary goes by the name of Steve Sims, a man who makes doing the impossible look easy; like having the Pope on speed dial. So how can he ALWAYS get a yes to make the impossible happen, while the majority of us struggle to even attempt such bold actions?
This is what heightened my curiosity to get this article flowing.
At first the “Yes Formula” seemed to be as simple as just increasing the amount of “No’s” we receive and playing the numbers game, but then I realized there is a science involved in strictly increasing the YES ratio.
Let’s first reframe our model of failure and success so we know what our objective is…
Success must be something that aligns with your values as per our previously defined core values and I Know I Am Successful When exercises; or else this won’t be a lasting endeavour.
Most people have a fear of failure and more importantly a fear of rejection, which can hold them back from truly getting to the levels of success they know themselves to being able to easily achieve, myself included. So getting over this is step 1. If we can subside this fear of rejection and treat this like a game where we understand a “No” is just an expedited route to a “Yes”, then we can start to utilize the following steps to getting more YES out of life.
Let’s first realize every conversation and experience is just human to human, regardless of who you are talking to and what you are expecting as the outcome to be.
Then we can start small. Challenge yourself once per week to ask for something that you want to have.
Then begin implementing the following steps to increase the chances of a favourable outcome:
Favours are dangerous- Steve says that favours get more expensive over time. Create a win-win situation in the moment that can be more in their favour. Perhaps there is a foundation you can give a donation to or an introduction to a person that can help them grow their business. Perhaps its as simple as giving them some baseball tickets (and when they get there you have a signed baseball waiting for them, which turns out is easier to get than you think).
Use some street Cred– usually it helps to have some credibility behind what you are asking to do. If you have nothing to fall back on, perhaps you know someone who does have the credibility that you can leverage and get an introduction to the person of influence. This is where social media can be your best friend.
Even B2B (Business 2 Business) is just H2H- (Human 2 Human)- It helps to wow people and put the odds forever in your favour. If you get an email, set up a time to speak on the phone. You will need to convey your best personality and charm… and email is not strong enough to decipher tonation and social cues. Consider sending video responses to their emails to answer any questions (this may also be a faster modality of responding as well). Use Facebook to see their “likes” and build rapport using mutual interests.
One of the most influential business owners I have met runs the world’s most successful …WAIT FOR IT.... envelope factories! It may seem like a completely impersonal business, yet he is a king at getting people to say yes to him. He has a 66 point data profile on every client including the client’s children and grandchildren’s birthday. For example he has sent a personalized baseball bat to a client’s son in the hospital after hearing he’s broken his leg. Once you know someone and their interests, wowing them is easy and you will never be forgotten. It is often as simple as letting them know you are thinking of them (see the next point).
Get them to think about you. Often. Sending handwritten letters and notes needs to happen, and needs to happen often. Make sure it’s as ugly as you can make it so they know it is made for them and ALWAYS hand write the envelope and hand stamp the envelope.
Sims says whenever he travels he will collect hotel envelopes. He will write a quick note saying he’s thinking of them and mails it in the hotel envelopes that he has picked up across north america – ugly marketing =effective.
Be extremely passionate. Passion is addictive and when you go to someone with an idea, confidence, and a ton of passion, there is a much higher chance of getting the result you desire. They say you are always selling or always being sold to, and that selling is just the transfer of enthusiasm.
If you are nervous, use an alter ego. There are many athletes and very successful people who will use an alter ego to obtain the persona of someone who is good at what they need to accomplish. A famous football player will impersonate the hulk when he’s on the field, then step off the field and return to being the nicest guy on the team. Find someone who is amazingly charming in negotiations and use that persona when asking for what you want out of life.
Get Your Words Out of Autopilot Mode. Most people are communicating on autopilot. For example, many people tune out on their morning commute to work and don’t even remember leaving the parking lot. We are often the same way in our daily conversations.When you are ACTIVELY listening to someone, you hear beyond their objections.
Spend Time with Stimulating People – As Human beings, we are energetically influenced by the people we hang around. By hanging around stimulating and ambitious individuals, we can’t help but think bigger, act more confidently and be stimulated in the process.
So there you have it, 8 tips for getting more Yes’s in life; brought to you by the Luxury Concierge himself, Steve Sims.
The biggest takeaway for me is as simple as a mental re-frame from what is possible. When you are aligned with your core values, and are aware of the end goal, there are a million ways to accomplish the goal… as long as you don’t give up after the first No.
Remember, it’s not a “Hard No”, it’s a “Not Right Now”.
Download the IKIASW to begin the reframe, along with this core values spreadsheet to become more aligned with your values, and then start implementing some of the aforementioned tips to become a more influential negotiator.
Cheers to breaking free of mediocrity.