How many times have you sacrificed something you wanted to do because you were “too busy”.
I know you’re busy running a business, taking care of your family, and trying to have a life… but I believe if you’re reading this then you KNOW you’re not always busy for the right reasons and there’s room for fun in there somewhere.
Well I’m going to share a couple exercises we use at Full Circle to show you how to put things into perspective so you can stop being “busy” and start being effective.
After watching this video, you’ll know the tools that allowed one of our clients to go from “too busy” to taking Fridays off for herself, and another client to realize she didn’t even need to be practicing for financial reasons which allowed her to stop working evenings and start being with her kids.
Here’s what you can do today to stop making excuses and start creating more time for the things that matter in your life:
How do you find the time to keep your commitments to your practice?
How do you find the time to keep your commitments to your spouse and your kids?
How do you find the time to keep up with your friends?
How do you find the time to stay on top of your hobbies and your fitness?
Make Yourself a Priority
Why is that people over-extend themselves and put too much on their plate?
One reason is because many of us are Doers and Dreamers who feel like we can do it ALL!
Another major reason, and the first piece of advice I want to relay to you so you can make more time for yourself is…
Stop People Pleasing
Of course every self-help book on the shelf alludes to this point, but I want to give you the mechanism I’ve found for WHY we say yes when we are already burnt out and overworked.
One is that people are scared of confrontation and disappointing others – so the easiest thing to do is say “Yes” to the favours they ask and the things that get delegated to your to-do list.
Which is why one of my favourite quotes is:
“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.”
– Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Another is The Bigness of the Fellow Within, which comes from the chiropractic philosophy of BJ Palmer. The idea is that there is a lot more to us than we thought.
Which made me believe that I can say yes to everything and power through it.
What it really did was stress me out and turn me into a grump…
Then there is the issue of Self-Worth and Self-Esteem.
What I mean by that is…
People are brainwashed by marketing messages, by Hollywood, by society, and by their peer groups to believe that the definition of success is a certain waist line and a certain income bracket.
Many of us out there haven’t taken the time to decide what success really means for them, so they can use that as a filter to make decisions from moving forward.
Let’s dive into the next two action steps that are designed create more time for yourself by designing your authentic life and putting an end to people pleasing.
Here’s the cure:
Define Your Core Values
By doing a Core Value Analysis you can know exactly who you are and exactly who you are NOT.
This allows you to live with certainty on the things in this world you should be doing and the things you should not be doing – which in turn allows you to add a filter to the decision making process when someone asks you to fill your time with a certain task or activity.
Since the Core Values exercise is a very detailed process, here are two exercises you can do instead to get this process started:
- Write a mock obituary about yourself
- Pretend it’s your last day on Earth and write down what it is that was important to you.
- What is it that you stood for?
- What memories did you want to leave with your kids?
- Monitor your behaviour and your actions
Often by monitoring your behaviour you can see where you make excuses and where you are flawless.
I put A LOT of time, energy, and intention into being with and planning for my family because that’s my highest core value. And I can see that by monitoring my actions.
I start every morning with my own version of tai chi + yoga, and a meditation. This is because health and fitness is one of my core values!
The KEY thing to living YOUR life is by asking yourself everyday – “are the things I’m planning to do and think about today – do they serve me and connect to my core vales?”
Once you can see where it is your values are, you can connect it to your definition of success.
Which is our third cure for unnecessary busy-ness…
Answer This: “I Know I Am Successful When _____”
When my coach asked me “When is enough, enough?” I realized how unclear I was on my life direction and how I was prioritizing my time.
I had no idea when to stop taking new patients, or when to stop working, or how many of my children’s events to go to in order to be a “Good Dad”.
By creating your own metrics for “success” in all 7 areas of your life – Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Social, Family, Career, Financial – you can easily begin to see what you should be working on and what you should stop working on in order to get closer to success everyday.
We ALL have a slightly different definition of success.
If you don’t know what it is, you are aiming for a target you can’t see.
But here’s the key to defining these metrics:
Make it Process-Based, rather than Outcomes-Based.
Instead of saying Physical success is weighing 200 pounds (which might fluctuate everyday), make the metrics something you can intentionally control – like ‘I eat clean 90% of the time and workout 5 days a week”.
Put 3 metrics for success in each one of the 7 categories, and begin to see how your behaviour and your action steps fit into your core values and your definition of success.
Living from intentional lifestyle design is not always the easiest thing to do, but I can tell you from experience it will lead you to a LOT more enjoyment and fulfillment in your life.
If you would like to talk to one of our Authenticity Coaches to help you define your Core Values and your Definition of Success, then I encourage you to book a free coaching call.